December 16, 2006
How am I?  Well how am I today?  Today is a good day.  A day off, but a good day none the less.  I am trying to live for me.  A novel concept, but I need to figure some things out so lets start at the basics.  It is whirlwind time as I am sure you are aware of.  Next week is Christmas, then New Years, then my birthday and the next day I leave for two weeks.  Yea vacation to my first international rainbow gathering! 
I mostly feel like I want to leave the school and resettle at the permaculture farm.  The problem comes on days like Thursday, we had a long boring meeting where it became ever more apperent that this is a dictatorship run by someone without any teaching experience.  I left numb and frustrated, glad for my one day a week teaching in Chiang Mai.  As I walk away Gaminy runs up and says Khru Alice are you leaving?  I tell her I am going to Chiang Mai (probably what she meant, but not what I am contemplating).  She ran up and hugged my legs and says I love you don't go.  I give her a hug and say I will be back in a few days.  Then I cry.  I love these kids so much.  I don't know if I could leave them.  Only time will tell I guess.  Much love and happy holidays.  I don't know how I will feel on Christmas.  My first one away!  Madalitso
-Alice