November 19, 2006
Sorry the last email was such a downer.  So here is my perspective now.  The staff can make a teaching situation, but I am determined that an unfriendly staff can not break one.  I need to focus on what is important.  #1 the children, they are why I came why I am here and my interactions with each and every one of them is very important.  #2 My sanity.  Keeping it being the goal.  If I loose it then I will be sabotaging the goal (see #1).  #3 Enjoying this wonderful country, culture, scenery and food.  Taking in what I can.  #4 Creating friendship with other staff.  Basically my take on this is acknowledging the good and forgetting the bad.  It is all good in theory, now I just need to internalize the goals and make them my reality.  Piece of cake… I hope. 
It reminds me of a stressful situation (yes this is my journal about Thailand and yes I am writing about Waveland Mississippi) I was incredibly stressed and supposed to go on a break with my friend Kathy.  Just when I needed to unwind she said lets take a break tomorrow we leave!  Perfect until she didn’t show.  She seemed to dissapear of the face of the earth for several days.  I was worried and still stressed.  Had she forgotten, where is she, what is the plan.  Not really a distress mode for me.  Finally I realized that I needed to be present in the moment, and if I just decided to be happy I would be.  Just then my friend Daniel ask how I was and gave me a hug.  My answer was “good”  and my heart seemed to lift with that word.  I had decided to be happy, and I was.  Maybe this is a lesson learned years ago for all of you, but it was last year for me.  I think I need to do this again.  Not that everything is perfect, but some things are.  Not that everyone is my close friend, but some are, not that lesson runs totally smoothly, but some do.  The glass is half full and I am… Good.
Thank you everyone for your kind words and responces in my time of need.  You are true friends and I value each one of you and all you do. -Alice